Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts

Sunday, 26 February 2017

The Seasons & The Weather

       Commenting About The Weather

“Damn!” he said, “It sure is hot!”,
then looked at me as if expecting
some appreciative corroboration
of his insightful observation.
All I could think of to say was,
“What the fuck do you expect of South Texas in August?”


Thought for a Sub-Zero Morning

One of the many things
that I disliked
about living on
a tropical island
was the absence
of autumn,
winter, and spring,
and the temperature range
being the same
every day,
rainy season and dry,
except during
typhoons.


                    … What A Man’s Gotta Do

I don’t know why I was so spaced out that morning,
but I left for the dog exercise park
on a day characterised
by a disturbed westerly flow
having forgotten to take my umbrella with me.

Although the sky was blue-dome when we left the car,
I knew that our chances of a dry, full-length ramble were slim,
and sure enough, a half an hour later,
as we were crossing the lawn toward the stick tree
I felt a gust of wind at my back,
turned, and saw a mass of black clouds
approaching rapidly
from the southwest.

Without hesitation I started striding briskly directly back toward the car,
the fox terrier following.
It started spitting as I descended the ramp past the boathouse,
then began raining for real after I’d strode
maybe twenty metres along the riverside footpath.

I ran,
with a thudding, lumbering gait,
the last eighty metres of so
to the Swarbrick Landing car park
and the shelter of my funky old Ford.

It was the first time I’d run in years.


                     Layers

One morning at the park in early April
I had to adjust the layering
of my outer garments
eight times in fifty minutes
as the sun seemed to be playing peek-a-boo with the clouds
and the breeze rose and fell.
For me that’s one of the more lovely things
about living where I live.
I like weather that does something
and doesn’t just sit there.


        Precipitative Indifference

I do love rain,
as did my flowers, herbs, tomatoes, and jalapeƱos,
back when I cultivated them,
and rain on the roof is one of my favourite sounds,
but when it really pisses down
it did put a crimp on my ability
and inclination
to exercise my dog
when she was alive,
and also to exercise myself
with long, solitary walks
since her demise.

The rain, of course,
doesn’t give a shit
one way or the other
about my attitude toward it.



          Aguas de Amazonia

One chilly, rainy morning,
with my wipers on and off
as I’d driven to the dog park,
I’d been listening
to a Brazilian ensemble called Uakti
playing minimalist compositions by Philip Glass
called Aguas de Amazonia
on mostly home-made percussion instruments and flutes
made from whatever they’d had lying around.

The river was up, but the rain had lightened,
so we were able to make
a complete circuit of the park –
albeit shorter than our usual one
and no game of stick.
As I strode, with the aid of a brolly,
along the surging, rising river,
the somewhat complex last four bars
that had been playing
before I’d switched off the ignition
engulfed my consciousness continuously
and guided my feet
in a magical combination
of mantra and marching music.
Music about the Amazon by the rainy, rushing Waikato:
it worked.



           Here it Comes
That just-before-it-rains
grey-sky thing
with the high overcast,
decreasing atmospheric pressure,
a breeze picking up from the northwest,
and the air dancing
with negative ions –
that’s when the weather
feels best to me.



     Remnants of a Depression

I love rain,
but when the wispy remnants
of an early-summer
subtropical depression caught me out
on the way home from the 4-Square,
the droplets blowing onto my sleeves
despite my umbrella
and the air’s oppressive stickiness
had a telling effect
on my ageing body
and I spent the rest of the day feeling unwell.

My plants loved it, though,
as did, apparently,
the neighbourhood birds,
who tucked into the birdseed in the feeder
on the wall of my front patio.

How the neighbourhood cats,
who keep hoping to get lucky with the birds,
reacted to that wet warm front
I couldn’t say.


                      A Cloudy Sunrise

The sunrise refracting through clouds
during my morning walk
temporarily distracted me
from my sorrow, desperation, and despair.
Clouds make everything so much better.
When I returned home, however,
everything was the same.
Cloudy sunrises don’t last.


       Vernal Indication

I’m not usually out after dark,
but when I did come home
after an evening performance
in late September
I crunched two snails underfoot
in the three steps
between my gate and my door,
without even looking down,
thereby convincing myself
that Spring had indeed arrived.


   Unseasonal Visits

I wonder if
the rare fly
that comes in my open doorway
when it’s well into autumn
does so
because it’s lonely,
or don’t flies get lonely?
Hell if I know.


     Limits To Comprehension

Wind, rain, lightning, hail –
these I can understand.
Money, religion, egotistical power lust –
these make about as much sense to me
as wearing a double-breasted suit.


Monday, 23 January 2017

General Observations II

                            Individualism

Moseying along the riverside footpath
underneath the summer tree canopy
keeping the old fox terrier company
shortly after dawn,
we came upon a flock of maybe a couple dozen ducks
who’d been up in some bush on a steep rise
between the footpath and River Road,
foraging for food, I suppose,
but maybe for some other reason.

I’m no expert on the Anatidae family’s species, after all.

Detecting our approach, one let out five rapid quacks,
and they proceeded to decamp from the parkland
and retreat into the river.
Some took off flying immediately, flapping furiously,
some of these quacking frantically, some not.
Others waddled at top speed, then flapped themselves into the air,
some quacking, some not.
Others started slowly, then sped up, then flew,
some quacking, some not.
Others hustled on foot all the way to the river,
some quacking, some not.
One insouciant female, however,
strolled at a leisurely waddle all the way to the riverbank,
paused there, looked at us with disdain,
or insouciance,
or so it seemed to me –
I don’t know if human language
can capture a waterfowl’s attitude, anyway – 
until we were almost upon her,
and then eased herself gracefully through the air into the water.

They all looked about the same to me,
but they obviously weren’t.
I wonder how we look to them?


                      River Rats

I’ve walked along the Waikato River often
since shifting to Hamilton from Otorohanga in 1993 –
at first by myself and then with my dog –
first along the western walkway stretch
from across from either Radnor Street or the archery range
to as far north as I had time to go,
later over a loop on both sides of the river
between the Fairfield and Claudelands bridges,
and then back and forth along it in Day’s Park.

In all that time I never saw a river rat
until July 2011, when I saw two
about a week apart.

It had been raining hard, on and off, for several days,
and the river was high and fast,
reaching almost to the riverside footpath.
I saw the first rat scuttle
from the side of the footpath into the river,
swim out to where a tree’s branch dipped into the rising water,
and climb up it into the tree,
where I lost sight of it.

The second rat I saw also saw us first and dove into the river,
but since it had no convenient tree branch handy,
it dove under the surface.
I watched for a while but never saw it resurface.

They must’ve floated down with the flood from upriver,
because with so many dogs almost always at that park,
most of them, unlike mine, being water dogs,
it’d be no place for a river rat
to call home.



                             Not Shaving

I decided in 1965 that I didn’t want to shave any more.
It just seemed to me to be
pointlessly stupid, physically irritating, and expensive.
In 2014 it amuses me to see
that full beards, not those idiotically narcissistic sculpted wanker ones,
are coming increasingly into fashion
among professional athletes in a variety of sports.
It’s somewhere between bemusing and sad to me that,
being just a fashion and not an expression of underlying principle,
it will have its season and then be replaced
by some other trend.


              Just Blotted Out

A juvenile mantis
maybe two cm long
was climbing the woodwork moulding
around the door
to one of my lounge’s
storage cupboards.
I squooshed it.
Then I thought about what it’d be like
to have my own life similarly squooshed.
It’d make no difference, I concluded.
Endless sleep is endless sleep.



                  Natural Nature

It aint natural;
you’ve felt that.
Or maybe it is,
depending on who you are.
After all, everyone just knows
what’s natural and what aint.

Don’t we?

Nature is natural,
like a scene of a misty forest
snapped with a digital camera
and disseminated on facebook.

What aint natural, some say,
is stuff people think up and make,
like artificial sweeteners
or pharmaceutical medicines,
or chemical fertilisers,
although even Natural Health remedies
and organic fertilisers
are composed of chemicals,
as is everything else in the universe.

Fuck that!
We all just know, we can just tell
what’s natural and what aint.

But people are part of nature.
Our DNA is pretty much the same stuff
as the DNA of a blue whale or a beaver,
only ours, like the beavers’, impels us to make things,
so everything we make must be natural,
because everything in the universe is.

Our nature also impels us to make things up,
to imagine and invent bullshit along with pollution,
which means that even what’s supernatural
is actually natural, too.


        Ecological Repercussions?

Vegans mean well and are mostly good people,
but what environmental niche
and what environmental impact
would cattle have today
if set free and released into the wild
after more than ten millennia
of domestication?
I sure as shit don’t know.


                  Summertime!

It amazes me
and makes me feel hollowly lonely
that most of the people
whom I’ve heard mention it
deeply love summer
and consider it to be,
as the seasons go,
the mutt’s nuts,
and their favourite time of year.


                   Doctors & Empathy

Not every doctor I’ve encountered
has been arrogant and domineering –
what they commonly call
having the God thing –
just most.

I’ve had three as close relatives,
and for the past few years
I’ve been picking up
the occasional lump of dosh
playing patients
in GP-registration practical exams
and in mock exams they use for training.

A med-biz clichƩ maintains
that a GP sees a heart,
whilst a surgeon sees a pump.
Well, the two surgeons I’ve known intimately
have both been astonishingly insensitive people,
sure enough,
but I’d estimate that eight out of ten
of the GP-registration candidates
in whose training I’ve assisted
have had about as much of an
aptitude for empathy
as I have for diamond-cutting.


               Academic Prose

These people with pee-aitch-dees
who either believe
that what they write
would lack credibility
if it isn’t as turgid and impenetrable
as they can make it,
or who just don’t know or care
how boring they’re making
really interesting and even important stuff
for others,
do no favours
for the advance
of the life of the mind
or the quality of civilisation.


          It Could’ve Been Worse

On the subject of superficialities,
since I was an adolescent
I’ve always wanted a striped shirt
with a white collar and cuffs,
but have somehow managed to do without one
throughout my long life
without suffering unduly
for that reason,
at least.


        Tackiness and Suchlike

I thought that the courtroom squabble
between some of BB King’s children
and his manager and care-giver
over the ownership of some of his jewellery
and other such things
while he was still fucking alive, for shit sake!,
was more than a bit on the tacky side.
I hope that I’m saving my daughters
from similar expeditions into tastelessness
by not owning any jewellery or suchlike
myself.


Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Old Age

                             Okay, I’m Old
Okay, I’m old.
Although some people insist on insisting
that I don’t look as old as I am,
as far as I’m concerned that’s no
Big Fucking Deal.
Numbers may indeed be abstractions,
but numbers, meaning years of age, are scary,
and numbers, meaning years of age, are silly,
sometimes.
It all depends –
on how dependable
or dependent things are –
doesn’t it?
First, the scary:
I’m 71.
Scared the shit out of you didn’t I?
Oooh, I hope that filthy old fart doesn’t want any intimacy with me!
Next, the silly:
I mean – despite the numbers, I’ve always been who I am, y’know?
and part of me’s always been eight years old,
since I was eight,
and at moments still I’m that 10-year-old at camp,
or that suffering, clueless teenager,
and I don’t particularly like the part of me
who was at my idiot testosterone peak when I was 25,
and too much of me remains of the doormat I’d become 20 years later,
and have in some ways always been,
and of course part of me’s always 15 years old –
especially when I see long, well-toned female legs, and so forth.
And that’s the point, isn’t it?
Because that’s ridiculous
because I’m old,
and because I don’t think I deserve ridicule –
at least not for that,
but Big Fucking Deal, eh?


                                 Old
It gets right up my nose;
I mean, it really sticks in my craw
when, in the flow of conversation,
in regard to, say, riding on city buses,
I off-handedly refer to myself as being old,
and another party to the conversation,
usually with a patronising or condescending smile,
contradicts me and insists, ‘Oh, you’re not old!’,
or some crap like that,
and asserts the superiority of using some euphemism.
This always offends the shit out of me.
I know it shouldn’t, but not giving a shit
about what I should or shouldn’t feel
is one of the advantages of being old.
It offends me because it’s an affront to the English language,
to which I have devoted a large portion of my life.
Old means old, as in having stayed alive for a long time.
It disgusts me when they treat it as if it were a dirty word.
Shit, being old is okay with me, really.
A really ugly line is, ‘You’re only as old as you think you are,’
as if lying to myself were a virtue,
and personal honesty and integrity a loathsome deformity.
Shit, being old is okay with me, really.
Another bullshit insult is, ‘But you have such a young mind!’
My mind right now is enormously superior to what it was 50 years ago.
As if my lifetime of curiosity and experience, and reflection on both,
hasn’t meant a constantly improving mind! Fuck that.
Shit, being old is okay with me, really.
Being old also means having arthritis and cataracts
and other physical niggles. Okay. That’s part of it.
It’d be a real drag to have them if I were still young,
but I’m not.



                    Notes On The Slipperiness Of Days
The days slide by like turds along the endless cosmic sewer pipe,
never pausing, never looking behind, never looking ahead.
Wednesday? Friday? I don’t know and I don’t care.
My mind has continuously engulfed the experience
that the shit all around me has provided,
my growth in understanding and wisdom
as imperceptibly gradual as my body’s deterioration.
My emotional life, however, has remained stunted;
having the emotional development of a nine-year-old
has made being old doesn’t seem unreal to me;
I view myself with child eyes,
which helps to make my reality seem distantly unreal,
as the days slide by.
I walk my old dog daily,
elevated by the caress of opioids or opiates, plus cannabis,
and usually no more than a wee bit of pain;
the doppler-effect rumble and hraahoomsh of traffic lends its music
to the dancing molecules in my brain and nervous system,
connecting me with my own kind
better than most face-to-face encounters,
as the days slide by.
Even middle age, and all that entails
is a fading memory that won’t slip away,
although the septic emotional wounds of that time
remain encrusted on top of all the day-turds
from childhood and onward,
as the days slide by.
I bought my new coat about a half a year before composing this,
or maybe it was about a year, or more, or something like that.
The days do slide by.


                               Progress
As soon as I become accustomed
to the aches and pains and points of fatigue
that come with being how old I am,
I grow older still and have new ones to contend with.


                             That Old
I may have been whinging
about one or more of the ways
my body’s deterioration over time
has inconvenienced me or worse –
but anyway she accused me,
as many others have done
(why they have to make it sound like an accusation I can only guess),
‘Oh, you’re not that old!’
and I began to wonder, as I do,
being the type of person who wonders about shit,
how old is that old, anyhow?
By what units do we measure it?
By months and years?
By tastes and attitudes?
By technological competence?
By knowledge of pop culture, both now and then?
By speed going up and down stairs?
By body odour?
By the number of grandchildren?
By how long we’ve been telling the same old jokes?
By the amount of wisdom accumulated?
… and where and how do we set the line for any of these
between what is just not as young as we used to be
and being that old?
Old enough to know better, I suppose.


                    National Super
It doesn’t seem real.
After struggling for years to survive
both financially and psychologically at the same time
(the word simultaneously wouldn’t have worked there),
just as I was close to having to sell my house
in order to do so I
simultaneously
reached my sixty-fifth birthday,
and as much money as I’d been paid some months,
and more than I’d been paid in some months lately,
before taxes,
doing the demanding and difficult work that I do –
excellently, permit me to add –
began to appear, after tax, like magic,
in my bank account every other Tuesday,
and although I still had burdensome debts to pay off,
I began to have to suffer less from privation.
It seems extraordinary to someone, such as myself,
who has a generally low opinion of my species,
that anyone, let alone a country,
actually takes care of tired old people, such as myself,
without asking questions, stuffing up, or saying,
‘Nyah! Nyah! Just teasing! We’re taking it back!’
I still expect them to do these things,
being largely incapable
of real interpersonal trust.


                   Rice Isn’t A Daily Thing Here
I don’t panic over work pressure anymore.
If I can’t do my work at a leisurely pace
that’s other people’s problem –
it doesn’t matter to me.
My superannuation pension has provided me
with what the Maoists would’ve probably called
my iron wine bottle.


                                 Seventy
Floating, or sinking, along a footpath – or both or neither,
a cool breeze ruffling my forearms’ hairs,
the high grey clouds diffusing what light was left
as the daytime shaded into the evening,
I focused on the outlines of the trees, still full of green leaves
despite the equinox having passed a couple of weeks before.
I felt connected to everything but humans –
humans who feel compelled to try to impose their egos
onto phenomena ridiculously larger than themselves,
onto phenomena absolutely indifferent to themselves,
such as by believing that by throwing a switch or something
at midnight on the first day of March
they have magically changed the season from summer to autumn,
here in the Southern Hemisphere,
although midnight and March are both random cultural inventions
that they’ve invented for their convenience,
and have nothing to do with the Earth itself,
the changing of the seasons obviously being
a gradual and multifaceted process.
Flip a switch. Say it’s official.
The seasons themselves couldn’t give less of a shit,
less even than the official-season crowd gives for the actual seasons.
The same for anniversaries and holy days – or holidays –
take your pick.
Time slides by seamlessly, incomprehensibly, indifferently.
The difference between my last day of being 69 and my seventieth birthday
being neither more nor less
than that between any other two consecutive days,
the universe throwing no switch
and caring not at all about my personal bullshit.
Despite my knowing better, though,
my awareness of this particular seamless transition
stirred up my personal bullshit within me,
and weighed heavily and stupidly on my human mind.