Thursday, 2 July 2020

Stuff from August 2019



       You’re Not Old 

Oh? You dispute me, do you,
when I make a passing mention
of some effect old age
has had on me in some context,
with a dismissive, scolding,
smirky-faced, sing-songy,
‘Oh, you’re not old!’

And then you act
surprised and hurt
when instead of grovelling with gratitude
at your condescending there-there,
as if I were a child afraid of a bogeyman,
or kvelling at your supposed flattery,
I snarl in response that
(in addition to being an affront
to the clear, accurate use of language)
your cheery contradiction
is a fatuous, insulting, disrespectful
thing to say.

Really! Accusing me
of being as stupid and naïve and gormless
as I was sixty or fifty or even forty years ago!
I mean, shit!

The secret to staying young
(which means to remain unchanging)
over the course of the decades
is clearly to learn and think and grow
as little as possible,
to restrict how much we experience,
and to gain as little as we can
from what experiences we can’t avoid.

Experience ages a person, y’know,
particularly if that person has a mind.


An Obvious Observation 

The way in which
the peculiar direction
our capitalist system
has developed
into the cause
of suicide epidemics
by promising
wondrous happiness
that it can never deliver
is reminiscent of
pornography:
it gets it up
without getting it off.



         Mary Ellen’s Dad

And it really all seems so very sad
to realise that Mary Ellen’s dad
still believes that he
can make things one day be
the way they once were only in his visions.


        The Future 

The Future Lies Ahead!
Rather like the present,
which is dominated by lies right now,
or the past,
when people lied all the time.
What else should you expect?
I mean, really!











Saturday, 3 August 2019

Stuff from June & July 2019


One Problem With Proving Something 

She often told him,
‘All men are bastards,’
but he sensed her vulnerability,
although oblivious to his own,
and sought connection with her
as a source of closeness,
convinced that he could
prove her wrong
and show her that
at least one man
could be
kind and fair and respectful.

The problem, of course,
was that she didn’t want him
to prove her wrong:
She wanted him
to prove her right.

It was really all over
before it began.




         Business As Usual, As Usual  


Celebrity, duty free, Let It Be, GDP
Breakthrough military technology
Mascots, gunshots, cum shots, have-nots
Cool squats, ink blots, money-saving robots
Bacon rashers, sweaty flashers, bible bashers
International money stashers
Halfway minds on armed patrol
Our world is crap on cruise control

Teflon, hardons, zircon, atmospheric carbon,
Salaried felons bullying for Chevron
Ice melt, Bible belt, farmed pelt, looking svelte
Useless crap on a marketing conveyor belt
Bedpans, warring clans, Comic Sans, V8 sedans
Luxury beachfront retirement plans
Water-skiing the North Pole
Our world is crap on cruise control.

Competitions, acquisitions, exhibitions, cruel traditions, 
Making fortunes from munitions
Needing apps, logo caps, marketing traps, mutton flaps
People working till they collapse
Bosses, losses, jewel-encrusted crosses,
Mass-produced taco sauces
Confining souls to pigeonholes
Our world is crap on cruise control.

Prayer rugs, cyberthugs, hard drugs, computer bugs
Small boys giggling about big jugs
Notoriety, high society, public piety, impropriety
Coping with ingrained anxiety
Toxic Reddit, fiscal debit, Chinese social credit,
It must be true because some book said it.
Misconceptions about the soul
Our world is crap on cruise control.

Salaries, calories, art and shooting galleries,
Industries based on imaginary allergies
Blister pack, zodiac, heart attack, no way back
Gym rat flashing a flat six-pack
Unsavoury bravery, generational knavery
Willing submission to gadget slavery
I’m glad that now’s the time I’m old
Our world is crap on cruise control. 



            Heritage 

He played the double bass
in a country music band,
back in the days
when country music was Country,
wore a string tie and a cowboy hat,
but he’d leave the stage
whenever the band played
‘When The Saints Go Marching In’
because he considered it to be
a sacrilegious song.

He believed that bestiality is illegal
in order to prevent the birth
of monstrous half-human babies –
he’d seen the photos
in the sensationalist tabloids
that he enjoyed.

He had a tight little toothless smile
because his granny had taught him
that it’s impolite to show others your teeth.

Dogs know this.

He lived to have several grandchildren,
almost all of whom
had tight little toothless smiles

when they smiled at all.





           Science Answering My Questions 

The professor presenting a paper
to a conference in Gibraltar
on Neanderthal research
that I saw on YouTube
stressed that one of many factors
in Neanderthal people’s geographical range
was the availability of fresh water,
and I thought, Of course! Without fresh water
how could they have made themselves coffee in the morning?





           Specimen and Species  

I saw a huge cockroach
in my bathroom this morning,
happily a rare experience nowadays.
It was on the top of the blinds over the sink
after I got out of the shower.
I ripped off a couple of piece of toilet paper,
rolled the blind down a few centimetres
until the jumbo insect fell into the sink,
squooshed it through the tissue,
and flushed it down the toilet.
I’m much older than it was,
and its species may indeed outlast mine,
but I’ve outlasted it.




Neoliberal Psychological Ideology  

He dismissed the first
of the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths
with a flick of his wrist,
asserting that he didn’t suffer
because he chose not to.

Everything,
he said,
is a matter of choice,
and he chose to be happy.

This, of course, means that
unhappiness must be a choice, too.

Now, since we can all agree
that unhappiness is inferior
to happiness,
this should raise the question of
not only why unhappiness exists,
but why so many billion people,
past and present,
chose, and continue to choose,
to be unhappy.

He modestly chose
not to address this question;
after all, since he chose happiness,
and unhappiness is inferior to it,
people who are unhappy
must be that way
because they’re inferior
to him.
He just may not have wanted
to say this
out loud,
y’know?
You never can tell
what unhappy inferiors might do.




           Lost In The Fog 

The city that is my home
has a deserved reputation for its fogs,
and I do love the foggy winter mornings
and the scope they provide
for my romantic imagination.

The park near my house
can become a habitat
for the Hound of the Baskervilles
or for Russian spies lurking vaguely
behind the leafless trees,
waiting for a contact to stroll by
and say the secret password
so they can pass microfilms to each other.

Only nowadays Russian spies do their dirty
in warm, dry, spotless rooms
staring at digital VDUs.

Espionage without fog, somehow,
seems to me to be
like tacos without hot sauce
or sex without at least
the illusion of love.





Saturday, 1 June 2019

Stuff from March, April, & May 2019


              These Things Must Exist

The images swim out of various parts
of the anglophone cultural miasma:

Hearts and floral arrangements
and darling crayon drawings by kindy kids
frame the tender depictions of present-day madonnas
and the warm, fuzzy paeans of purest love
that ooze out all over the place
on Mothers Day
and its commercial build-up …
I imagine that’s real for most people,
but it sure isn’t real for me;
I do struggle, badly, to be resilient, somehow.

A long table covered with home-made food
and surrounded by four generations, with in-laws,
of a large and safe and boisterous family;
kids of all sizes climbing on trees or fences or furniture,
more than a dozen lifetimes of interwoven experiences
inevitable disagreements tempered by shared values,
with love the prophylactic against distrust, or meanness,
or subtle challenges and psychological threats ...
I imagine that’s real for many people,
depending on their culture and situation,
but my family’s just not like that.

Two silver-haired Old Dears
looking lovingly into each other’s eyes,
holding hands in the park or by the sea,
or maybe on a shady front porch,
their mutual empathy and trust automatic,
their souls suffused with their shared nearly-everything …
I wonder how real that is in the city;
it sure isn’t real to me,
but I have coping mechanisms.




         The View From The Launch 

A certain tension pulsates beneath the surface
at buffets put on at minor events
between: (a) the people who brought
their signature snack delicacies
for the common board
and who want to see all of it eaten,
as much to feel rewarded for their efforts
as to avoid the trouble of disposing of it,
and (b) everybody else,
each of whom is all too aware
of the opprobrium and ridicule
and the sneering about gluttony –
sometimes via witty jokes or comments,
but often, more tastefully,
through visible-but-unspoken looks
that rain down on those people
whom our more judgemental friends
feel they have reason to accuse
of making a pig of themselves.

It only has to happen once.

When only a bit younger I didn’t give a shit
and tucked in heartily
when the goodies were good,
but now it just seems easier
to avoid risking that sort of tediousness.
Nobody actually needs yummy snacks.
It’s only pleasure, after all. 



                           Fresh Fruit For Breakfast 

The stars, the cosmos,
have no meaning for my dog.
Does this mean they have no meaning at all?
Well, yes and no.
If you know what I mean –
or even if you don’t.
It depends on what you mean
by meaning –
and what the stars
and galaxies
and other points of light
in the night sky
(when the city lights don’t interfere)
mean to you.
My dog has other things on his mind.
Me? I like fresh fruit for breakfast.


           Mutant Amoebas 

I happened to mention
that I like soy sauce on my brussels sprouts.

He snorted, ‘You can’t really like brussels sprouts;
they’re nasty-nasty-nasty, and I should know,
because I have Very Good Taste,
better than all those food snobs
and you sheeple who go ooh and ahh
over so-called food that you really can’t stand
because you lack confidence –
fakes, all of you.’

I said, sighing inwardly
because I didn’t want him to notice
(but he probably did),
‘No, your hatred for brussels sprouts
just means that your TAS2R38 gene
has mutated to make a protein
that misconstrues certain substances
in brussels sprouts and other brassicas
for a chemical called phenylthiocarbamide,
which is unpleasantly bitter.’

He smirked disdainfully at me, sneering,
‘Are you telling me that I’m a mutant?’

‘Every living thing,’
I told him with little hope that it’d get through,
‘from octopuses to oak trees
to pigeons to people,
including both of us,
is basically a mutant amoeba.’

He smiled at me with condescending loathing,
‘Not me, mate.
Speak for yourself.’


                   The Solution  

Human civilisation is a mess
That’s always been the case (the record’s clear),
only now its capacity to destroy itself
has become so sophisticated
and so powerful and so tempting
in so many different ways
that civilisational collapse
seems imminent and inescapable.
Of course, numerous individuals
and scattered clumps of people
have proposed numerous reasonable ways
to at least delay this self-destruction,
but without political wisdom,
these are likely to come to nought,
and political wisdom is in short supply,
as it always has been (the record’s clear).

Philosophers and statesmen
(note the gendered term)
have since ancient days
argued over what is the best way
to sort out people’s power relationships,
but no system or philosophy or ideology
has come close to being
what it needs to be.

I, however, have the best solution
for the best outcomes for everyone:
make me King of the World
(or Emperor or CEO).
The title doesn’t matter,
just that what I say, goes.
After all, I do have the optimal
values system, knowledge base,
higher-level cognitive abilities,
and acquired wisdom,
modest personal needs,
and just the right psychological disorders
for the job. 

           M.O.G. 

If the rain is, indeed,
the tears of the Virgin Mary
weeping for our sins,
a whole lot of sinning
must be going on.


                Fresh Grapes from Chile
  
The sun sucked up that little spludge of water,
no bigger then the last joint of my thumb,
sucked it up into a cloud from somewhere in the ocean,
or maybe from a lake or a swamp,
or the river two blocks from my house
into which my urine also flows,
and it wafted all the way across the Pacific
to the Atacama region of Chile,
where it fell in a shower, or maybe a thunderstorm,
onto a vineyard growing red globe table grapes,
then rose  up through roots to inhabit
a grape of exactly that size
in a bunch that some underpaid person picked,
before other underpaid workers packed it
into the hold of a climate-warping airplane,
in which it rode for more than 10,000 climate-warping kays,
ending up briefly at the Vege King in the Fairfield shops
before riding again, muscle-powered, inside my backpack
to my kitchen, where I popped it into my mouth,
and deeply enjoyed the moment
of that juicy grape-explosion
when my teeth crushed it.

Endless aeons of cosmic expansion, geological activity,
biological evolution – of both grapes and me –
and global human economic development 
created that one juicily worthwhile moment
before my species fucks things up for ourselves
more or less terminally,
and no more Chilean red globe grapes
fly pollutingly to New Zealand
for worthwhile moments and transcontinental recycling.


       A Cultural Phenomenon 

Heavy metal,
it seems to me,
is a musical, attitudinal, and sartorial expression
of a world-view
and cultural-values profile
that emphasises the grandness
of imperialism and conquest
and triumphalism and domination
and violence and cruelty
for people who may be benefiting
from the historical consequences
of such things,
but who feel cheated by the way
that those who still enjoy them to the full
– especially the domination stuff –
have eroded the metalheads’ enjoyment
into puffed-chest fantasies of long ago
– especially the domination stuff –
as their own life experiences of their civilisation,
born of violent conquest as it was,
and imbued with its rationale as it is,
has turned, inexplicably to them,
to shit.


      Just One Little Thing  

Most of my exes
(and I have too many of them
scattered about the globe)
would probably take me back
if only I were a different person,
which of course I’m not.